CROCS and Pirates of the Carribean ad?

FUN THINGS TO DO IN AN ELEVATOR

FUN THINGS TO DO IN AN ELEVATOR

When a person in the elevator repeatedly pushes a button (such as "close" or "open") say, "Congratulations, you figured out that if you push the button 20 times, it works quicker"
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When the elevator doors shut, assuringly say, "It's ok, they will open up again!"
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Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
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Whistle the first seven notes of "Its a Small World" incessantly.
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Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
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Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside down.
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Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
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When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
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Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
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Stare, grinning, at another passenger for awhile, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
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Meow occasionally.
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Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
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Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
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Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
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Stare at another passenger for awhile, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
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Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
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When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "Is that your beeper?"
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Say "Ding!" at each floor.
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Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
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Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
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Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
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Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
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Put a box on the floor and whenever somebody comes in, say "Do you hear clicking?"

Mouse and Frog, Friends!

oh Froggy, carry me across this river !

Banned Commercial - Bill Clinton Voodoo doll very funny!!

Funny Bill Clinton Voodoo Doll Video!!!

LIVING IN A GRATEFUL WORLD !

Living in a Grateful World

Be grateful to those who have hurt or harmed you, for they have reinforced your determination.

Be grateful to those who have deceived you, for they have deepened your insight.

Be grateful to those who have hit you, for they reduced your karmic obstacles.

Be grateful to those who have abandoned you, for they have taught you to be independent.

Be grateful to those who have made you stumble, for they have strengthened your ability.

Be grateful to those who have denounced you, for they have increased your wisdom and concentration.

Signs you are an 80's Baby! ( asian version )

For your reading pleasure...some might be true.
Hope you will all enjoy reading it. This might bring you back the old memory especially during those school days.....

Signs that you are a 80s' baby:

You grew up watching G-Force, He-man, Transformers, Thundercats, Silver Hawk, Woody Woodpecker, Chipmunks and Mickey Mouse. Not to forget Ninja Turtles, Mask, Smurfs and Voltron too.

Girls watched Japanese cartoon like My Little Pony, "Xiao Tian Tian", "Hua Xian Zi" etc.

You grew up brushing your teeth with a mug in primary school after recess time.

You squatted by a drain with all your classmates beside you, and brushed your teeth with a colo urful mug.

Remember the days when the school nurse, comes with a list for the ! dentist appointment, the sound of the drilling when your friend has a fill in his tooth.

You remember the packets of milk we get in primary school to encourage us to drink more milk. (It is only cost 30 cent per pack)

In secondary school, girls go to the library to borrow their favourite romance storybook.

In secondary school, girls altered their school skirt to shorten it and guys will go to the school appointed school uniform tailor shop to tailor make their school trousers to the then fashionable "baggy pants"!

During primary school days, the teacher will punish you using a ruler to hit your palm.

A bowl of noodles soup cost only 30cent in primary school days.

When you were in primary school, girls like to go to the bookshop to buy cute stuff such as animal erasers, various shape sharpeners, colourful notebook etc.

Hankyu Jaya, Yaohan departmental stores used to be a favouritehangout for families dur! ing weekends.

In secondary school days, you buy the Bata BM Turbo or Pallas Jazz school shoes. Some guys like to wear those china made ankle high shoes. Some even like to wear those very thick socks with their school shoes.

Internet? E-mail? What the hell is that?

So you thought a decade or more ago, your friends don't have pagers or handphones in school.

CDs? What's that? Cassette tapes were the norm. Movie tickets used to cost less than $5 last time.

The goodies from Mama shop used to be Chickerdis, Mamee , Kum Kum, UFO, O-Ya, Ding Dang chocolate balls with toys in the box, colourful hard "egg", "cigerette" bubble gum, KIKI Bubble Gum, pink bottle of bubbles c/w a small tubes with yellow sticks to blow "more lasting" bubbles that you can pop more air in or slam it on.

You never forget 'Ti Kam'.

When exams are over, the board games (e.g Monopoly, Donkey, Transportation Comparison Card) & held ! video games will be all over the class room.

Your favourite sound is the bell! For it's the homemade ice cream man. The cream that tops Haagan Dazs!

And the other peddler you love is the old lady who sells juicy Muah Chee and thick olden syrup rolled in a balloon the tip of a chopstick stick.

Another bell is the recess bell, a time to get away from school work and to eat.

Another time when there is no bell but all guys will anxiously wait for it...The PJ (Pendidikan Jasmani), PE time (time for football)

Your favourite childhood games were playing "gu li"(marbles), five stones, five bottle cover, zero-point, catching, "Pepsi-Cola one two three" and/or "Police & Sentry"!

The best thirst quencher of all times is the yummy colourful ice tubes you can buy from provision shops for only 10 cent. To eat them, break the tab and suck while holding the freezing tube!

All gals have a girl doll/strawberry shortcake/my little pony/pound puppy, while all boys have a soldiers figurine (combat) or a rubber band catapult that shoots folded paper!

Once was the era whereby ice-cream sticks were valueable items, then came the paper aircrafts, chalk fights.

Some boys made their own guns from wood, and used 'Bacali' as the bullets.

Some even used matches to shoot and burn kids'lanterns during MoonCake Festival.

And your favourite holiday was Lunar New Year! New clothes, Ang Pows, shopping, junk food and family outings!

Let's see, the majority of students in universities today were born in 1987 / 88.... They are called "youth".

For them, they have never heard of the song "We are the World, we are the Children..." And the "Uptown Girl" they know is by 'West Life' but not 'Billy Joel'.

For them, there have always been only one Germany and only one Vietnam.

AIDS exists since they were born.

CD exists since they were born.

Michael Jackson is already whitened.

John Travolta is always round in shape and they can't imagine how this fat guy could be a god of dance.

They believe that Spiderman and Incredible Hulk are just new films.

They can never imagine a black and white screen for a computer.

They never know what is Atari or 'Game & Watch'.

They can't believe a black and white television ever existed and they don't even know how to switch on a TV without a remote control.

And they never understand how we can go out without a mobile phone when we were in university...

SWAP 'N' SELL

SWAP 'N' SELL

My friend's blog, she's a real entrepreneur!

The mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee

The MAYONNAISE JAR

and

2 CUPS OF COFFEE

When things in your life seem

almost too much to handle,

when 24 Hours in a day is not enough,

remember the mayonnaise jar

and 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class

and had some items in front of him.

When the class began, wordlessly,

he picked up a very large
and empty mayonnaise jar

and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students

if the jar was full.

They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar.

He shook the jar lightly.

The pebbles rolled into the open
areas between the golf balls.

He then asked

the students again

if the jar was full..

They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand

and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

He asked once more if the jar was full.

The students responded

with an unanimous

"yes."

The professor then produced

two cups of coffee from under the table

And poured the entire contents

into the jar, effectively
filling the Empty space between the sand.

The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor,

as the laughter subsided,

"I want you to recognize that

this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things -

God, family, children, health,

friends, and Favorite passions --

things that if everything else was lost
and only they remained,

your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter

like your job, house, and car.

The sand is everything else --

the small stuff.

"If you put the sand into the jar first,"

he continued,

"there is no room for

the pebbles or the golf balls.

The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time

and energy on the small stuff,
you will never have room for

the things that are

important to you.

So...

Pay attention to the things

that are critical to your happiness.
Play With your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.
Play another 18.

There will always be time

to clean the house

and fix the disposal.

"Take care of the golf balls first --

the things that really matter.

Set your priorities.

The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand

and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled.

"I'm glad you asked".

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for

a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

Please share this with

someone you care about.


I JUST DID.

Church Events ... !!

There was a church that had problems with outsiders parking in its parking lots, so they put up a sign:
CHURCH CAR PARK - FOR MEMBERS ONLY
Trespassers will be baptized!"

CHURCH SIGN BOARDS:
"No God - No Peace"
"Know God - Know Peace."

"Free Trip to Heaven."
"Details Inside!"

"Try our Sundays."
"They're better than Dairy Queen's".

"Searching for a new look?"
"Have your faith lifted here!"

"People are like tea bags."
"You have to put them in hot water before you knowhow strong they are."

"Fight truth decay."
"Study the Bible daily."

"How will you spend eternity?"
"Smoking or Non-smoking?"

"Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives."

"It is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin."

"Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church."

"If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns."

"If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again."
"Looking at the way some people live, they ought to
obtain eternal fire insurance soon."

"This is a ch_ _ ch."
"What is missing? - (U R)"

"In the dark?"
"Follow the Son."

"Running low on faith?"
"Step in for a fill-up."

"If you can't sleep, don't count sheep." "Talk to the Shepherd."

"Come work for the Lord."
"The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low.

But the retirement benefits are out of this world."

An ad for one Church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads, "For fast, fast relief, take two tablets."

When the restaurant next to another Church put out a big sign with red letters that said, "Open Sundays," the church reciprocated with its own message: "We are open on Sundays, too."


- ON THE PASTOR'S PARKING SPOT -
"PASTOR'S SPOT"
"YOU PARK, YOU PREACH"

Romantic Names

~ Romantic Names ~

Your name begins with A
You are not particularly romantic, but you are interested in action. You mean business. With you, what you see is what you get. You have no patience for flirting and can't be bothered with someone who is trying to be coy, cute, and subtly enticing. You are an up-front person.

You often don't get hints and you never pass any. Your mate's physical attractiveness is important to you. You find the chase and challenge of the "hunt" invigorating. You are passionate, as well as being much more adventurous than you appear, however, you do not go around advertising these qualities.

Your physical needs are your primary concern. You tend to be selfish and not very emotional. You and your needs matter most. Others and their feelings come second. Your choices aren't very good and can only lead to trouble.

Your name begins with B
You give off vibes of lazy sensuality. You enjoy being romanced, wined, and dined. You are very happy to receive gifts as an _expression of the affection of your lover. You want to be pampered and you know how to pamper your mate.

You are private in your _expression of endearments, and particular when it comes to love. You will hold off until everything meets with your approval. You can control your appetite and feelings. You require new sensations and experiences. You are willing to experiment.

Your name begins with C
You are a very social individual, and it is important to you to have a relationship. You require closeness and togetherness.

You want the object of your affection to be socially acceptable and good-looking. You see your lover as a friend and companion. You are very sensual, needing someone to appreciate and almost worship you. When this cannot be achieved, you have the ability to hold out on affection until you receive this.

Your name begins with D
Once you get it into your head that you want someone, you move full steam ahead in pursuit. You do not give up your quest easily. You are nurturing and caring. If someone has a problem, this turns you on. You are highly passionate, loyal, and intense in your involvements, and sometimes possessive and jealous.

You are very sharp and talented and have a good sense of humor. When people bother to look deep in your eyes, they cannot resist what they see. You are stimulated by the eccentric and unusual, having a free and open attitude. You tend to get jealous of other people and can lose your temper fast.

Your name begins with E
Your greatest need is to talk. If your date is not a good listener, you have trouble relating. A person must be intellectually stimulating or you are not interested sexually. You need a friend for a lover and a companion. You hate disharmony and disruption, but you do enjoy a good argument once in a while - it seems to stir things up. You flirt a lot, for the challenge is important. But once you give your heart away, you are uncompromisingly loyal.

Your name begins with F
You are idealistic and romantic, putting your lover on a pedestal. You look for the very best mate you can find. You are a flirt, yet once committed, you are very loyal. You are sensuous and privately passionate. Publicly, you can be showy, extravagant, and gallant. You are a born romantic. Dramatic love scenes are a favorite fantasy past time. You can be a very generous lover.

Your name begins with G
You are fastidious, seeking perfection within yourself and your lover. You respond to a lover who is your intellectual equal or superior, and one who can enhance your status. You are sensuous and know how to reach the peak of stimulation, because you work at it meticulously. You can be extremely active, never tiring out. Your duties and responsibilities take precedence over everything else. You may have difficulty getting emotionally close to people.

Your name begins with H
You seek a mate who can enhance your zest for life, fun, and everything you seek. You will be very generous to your lover once you have attained a commitment. You are very affectionate and very strong. Your gifts are actually an investment in your partner. Before the commitment though, you tend to be very careful with your every move and equally cautious in your involvement as you believe you must look out for yourself.

You are a very sensual and patient lover. You are a perfectionist, hard to satisfy and strong in your beliefs. People can always count on you to stand by them in a crisis. You are a dreamer with a passion for life.

Your name begins with I
You have a great need to be loved and appreciated. You enjoy luxury, sensuality, and love. You look for lovers who know what they are doing. You can be fussy and exacting, but you are willing to experiment and try new modes of _expression.

You bore easily and thus require adventure and change. Your commitments may not last very long. You are more sensual than sexual, but you are sometimes downright lustful.

Your name begins with J
You are blessed with a great deal of physical energy. When used for a good cause, there is nothing to stop you, except that maybe your energies aren't always used for good (you could have danced all night). You respond to the thrill of the chase and the challenge of the mating game. You can carry on great romances in your head. At heart, you are a roamer and need to set out on your own every so often. You can carry on long-distance relationships with ease. You are idealistic and need to believe in love. You have a need to be nurtured deep within yourself.

Your name begins with K
You are secretive, self-contained, and shy. You are very sexy and passionate, but you do not let on to this. Only in intimate privacy will this part of your nature reveal itself. You take your love life very seriously and don't fool around. You have the patience to wait for the right person to come along. You are very giving and generous and often selfless. You are kind natured and sweet, which is attractive to many. You are a good friend.

Your name begins with L
You can be very romantic, attached to the glamour of love. Having a partner is of utmost importance to you. You are free in your _expression of love and are willing to take chances on new experiences, provided everything is in good taste. Brains turn you on. You must feel that your partner is intellectually stimulating, otherwise, you find it difficult to sustain the relationship. You require loving, cuddling, wining and dining to know that you're being appreciated.

Your name begins with M
You are emotional and intense. When involved in a relationship, you throw your entire energy into it. Nothing stops you, and you are all-consuming. You crave someone who is equally passionate and intense. You believe in total freedom. You are willing to try anything and everything. Your supply of energy is inexhaustible. You enjoy mothering your mate. You are very imaginative.

Your name begins with N
You may appear innocent, unassuming and shy, but we know that appearances can lie. When it comes to lovers, you are no novice. You can easily go to extremes, from insatiability to boredom with the whole idea of love.

You can be highly critical of your mate, seeking perfection for both of you. It is not easy to find someone who can meet all of your standards. You have difficulty expressing emotions and drawing close to lovers. You can be very selfish, thinking you are always right. Winning is your prime desire. You often forget friends and family while living for the moment.

Your name begins with O
You are very interested in fun activities, yet you can be secretive and shy about your desires. You can re-channel much of your energy into making money and end up with extended periods of celibacy. You are a passionate, compassionate lover, wanting the same qualities from your mate. Love is a serious business to you and you demand intensity and diversity. Sometimes your passions can turn to possessiveness, which must be kept in check.

Your name begins with P
You are very conscious of social proprieties. You wouldn't think of doing anything that might harm your image or reputation. Appearances count. You require a good-looking, intelligent partner. Oddly enough, you may view your partner as your enemy - a good fight may stimulate those feelings. You are very social and sensual.

Your name begins with Q
You have tremendous physical energy and require constant activity and stimulation. It is not easy for a partner to keep up with you. You are an enthusiastic lover and tend to be attracted to people because of their ethnic looks and backgrounds. You need lots of romance, hearts, flowers, and conversation to turn you on and keep you going.

Your name begins with R
You are a no nonsense, action oriented individual. You need someone who can keep pace with you and who is your intellectual equal. You appreciate a great mind more than a great body however, physical attractiveness is very important to you. You may not outwardly show how passionate you are, but love is very important to you.

Your name begins with S
For you, it is pleasure before business. You can be romantically idealistic to a fault and you are capable of much sensuality. Once you make a commitment, you stick like glue. You could get jealous and possessive. You may tend to be selfish and you like being the center of attention. You are very caring, sensitive, and at times, private. You love romantic thoughts accompanied by soft lights and music.

Your name begins with T
You are sensitive and like a partner who takes the lead. You tend to fantasize and may fall in and out of love easily. When in love, you are romantic, idealistic, and mushy. You are a great flirt and, all in your head, you can make your relationship fit your dreams.

You like things your own way. You don't like change and you like to hold on to things. You should listen to what others say because even though you don't want to hear it, their advice may turn out to save your love.

Your name begins with U
You are enthusiastic and at your happiest when in love. When not in love, you are looking for someone to adore. You see romance as a challenge. You enjoy giving gifts and looking good. You are willing to put other's feelings above your own.

Your name begins with V
You are individualistic and you appreciate freedom, space, and excitement. You wait until you know someone well before committing yourself. You are attracted to eccentric types and you believe that age is no barrier. You are good at responding to danger, fear, and suspense.

Your name begins with W
You are very proud, determined, and refuse to take no for an answer when it comes to love. Your ego is at stake all the time. You are idealistic and often in love with the idea of love itself. You feel deeply about love and tend to throw all of yourself into a relationship. You like playing love games.

Your name begins with X
You tend to get bored easily and want constant stimulation. You can handle more than one relationship at a time with ease. You are very talented and have trouble shutting off your thoughts.

Your name begins with Y
You are sensual and independent. If you can't have it your way, you want to forget the whole thing. You want to control your relationship which doesn't always work out well. You have a need to prove yourself the best. You want feedback. If you can make money, you will give up love for the moment.

Your name begins with Z
You are very romantic but somehow feel that to love means to suffer. You end up serving your mate. You see yourself as your lover's savior. You attract people who have unusual troubles.

Joke : Not at home for a whole night !

Women :
A wife was not at home for a whole night. So, the very next morning, she tells her husband that she stayed at her girlfriend's apartment over night.

The husband calls 10 of her best girlfriends, and none of them confirms that.

Men:
A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife the very next morning, that he stayed at his friend's apartment over night.

So the wife calls 10 of his best friends : 5 of them confirm that he stayed at their apartments that night, and the other 5 are claiming that he still is there with them !

Men are like...

Men are like ............Laxatives ...... They irritate the s*** out of you.

Men are like ........ Bananas ...... The older they get, the less firm they are.

Men are like ........ Vacations ...... They never seem to be long enough.

Men are like ........ Weather ...... Nothing can be done to change them.

Men are like ........ Blenders ...... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.

Men are like ........ Chocolate Bars ...... Sweet, smooth, &they usually head right for your hips.

Men are like ........ Coffee ...... The best ones are rich, warm, &can keep you up all night long.

Men are like ........ Commercials ...... You can't believe a word they say.

Men are like ........ Department Stores ........ Their clothes are always 1/2 off.

Men are like ........ Government Bonds ........ They take soooooooo long to mature.

Men are like ........ Mascara ...... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

Men are like ....... Popcorn ........ They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

Men are like ........ Snowstorms ...... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

Men are like ........ Lava Lamps ...... Fun to look at, but not very bright.

Men are like ........ Parking Spots ........ All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

God's Billboard

Now, God has a new way of talking to people... :)

27 Ways to Make a Girl Smile

1. Tell her she is beautiful (not hot, fine, or sexy)

2 . Hold her hand at any moment . . . even if its just for a second.

3 . Kiss her on the forehead.

4 . Leave her voice messages to wake up to.

5 . Always tell her you love her every second of the day.

6 . When she is upset, hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you.

7 . Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most.

8 . Sing to her no matter how horrible your voice is.

9 . Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with.

10 . Write her notes. (she loves them)

11 . Introduce her to family and friends . . . as your girlfriend.

12 . Play with her hair.

13 . Pick her up, tickle her, and play-wrestle with her.

14 . Sit in the park and just talk to her.

15 . Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, or just tell her jokes.

16 . Throw pebbles at her window in the middle of the night . . . just because you missed her.

17 . Let her fall asleep in your arms.

18. Carve your names into a tree.

19 . If she's mad at you, kiss her.

20 . Give her piggyback rides.

21 . Bring her flowers

22 . Treat her the same around your friends as you do when your alone.

23 . Look her in the eyes and smile.

24 . Let her take as many pictures of you as she wants.

25 . Slow dance with her, even if there isn't any music playing.

26 . Kiss her in the rain.

27 . If your in love with her . . . tell her.

50 Fun Things to Do in an Elevator

1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"
19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
20. Meow occassionally.
21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
25. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
28. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
34. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
35. Play the harmonica.
36. Shadow box.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"

How to say I Love You in 100 Languages !!!

English - I love you
Afrikaans - Ek het jou lief
Albanian - Te dua
Arabic - Ana behibak (to male)
Arabic - Ana behibek (to female)
Armenian - Yes kez sirumen
Bambara - M'bi fe
Bangla - Aamee tuma ke bhalo aashi
Belarusian - Ya tabe kahayu
Bisaya - Nahigugma ako kanimo
Bulgarian - Obicham te
Cambodian - Soro lahn nhee ah
Cantonese Chinese - Ngo oiy ney a
Catalan - T'estimo
Cheyenne - Ne mohotatse
Chichewa - Ndimakukonda
Corsican - Ti tengu caru (to male)
Creol - Mi aime jou
Croatian - Volim te
Czech - Miluji te
Danish - Jeg Elsker Dig
Dutch - Ik hou van jou
Esperanto - Mi amas vin
Estonian - Ma armastan sind
Ethiopian - Afgreki'
Faroese - Eg elski teg
Farsi - Doset daram
Filipino - Mahal kita
Finnish - Mina rakastan sinua
French - Je t'aime, Je t'adore
Gaelic - Ta gra agam ort
Georgian - Mikvarhar
German - Ich liebe dich
Greek - S'agapo
Gujarati - Hoo thunay prem karoo choo
Hiligaynon - Palangga ko ikaw
Hawaiian - Aloha wau ia oi
Hebrew - Ani ohev otah (to female)
Hebrew - Ani ohev et otha (to male)
Hiligaynon - Guina higugma ko ikaw
Hindi - Hum Tumhe Pyar Karte hae
Hmong - Kuv hlub koj
Hopi - Nu' umi unangwa'ta
Hungarian - Szeretlek
Icelandic - Eg elska tig
Ilonggo - Palangga ko ikaw
Indonesian - Saya cinta padamu
Inuit - Negligevapse
Irish - Taim i' ngra leat
Italian - Ti amo
Japanese - Aishiteru
Kannada - Naanu ninna preetisuttene
Kapampangan - Kaluguran daka
Kiswahili - Nakupenda
Konkani - Tu magel moga cho
Korean - Sarang Heyo
Latin - Te amo
Latvian - Es tevi miilu
Lebanese - Bahibak
Lithuanian - Tave myliu
Malay - Saya cintakan mu / Aku cinta padamu
Malayalam - Njan Ninne Premikunnu
Mandarin Chinese - Wo ai ni
Marathi - Me tula prem karto
Mohawk - Kanbhik
Moroccan - Ana moajaba bik
Nahuatl - Ni mits neki
Navaho - Ayor anosh'ni
Norwegian - Jeg Elsker Deg
Pandacan - Syota na kita!!
Pangasinan - Inaru Taka
Papiamento - Mi ta stimabo
Persian - Doo-set daaram
Pig Latin - Iay ovlay ouyay
Polish - Kocham Ciebie
Portuguese - Eu te amo
Romanian - Te ubesk
Russian - Ya tebya liubliu
Scot Gaelic - Tha gra\dh agam ort
Serbian - Volim te
Setswana - Ke a go rata
Sign Language - ,\,,/ (represents position of fingers when signing'I Love You')
Sindhi - Maa tokhe pyar kendo ahyan
Sioux - Techihhila
Slovak - Lu`bim ta
Slovenian - Ljubim te
Spanish - Te quiero / Te amo
Swahili - Ninapenda wewe
Swedish - Jag alskar dig
Swiss-German - Ich lieb Di
Tagalog - Mahal kita
Taiwanese - Wa ga ei li
Tahitian - Ua Here Vau Ia Oe
Tamil - Nan unnai kathalikaraen
Telugu - Nenu ninnu premistunnanu
Thai - Chan rak khun (to male)
Thai - Phom rak khun (to female)
Turkish - Seni Seviyorum
Ukrainian - Ya tebe kahayu
Urdu - mai aap say pyaar karta hoo
Vietnamese - Anh ye^u em (to female)
Vietnamese - Em ye^u anh (to male)
Welsh - 'Rwy'n dy garu
Yiddish - Ikh hob dikh
Yoruba - Mo ni fe

Moonlight Ride

Jenny was so happy about the house they had found.
For once in her life 'twas on the right side of town.
She unpacked her things with such great ease.
As she watched her new curtains blow in the breeze.

How wonderful it was to have her own room.
School would be starting, she'd have friends over soon.
There'd be sleep-overs, and parties; she was so happy
It's just the way she wanted her life to be.

On the first day of school, everything went great.
She made new friends and even got a date!
She thought, "I want to be popular and I'm going to be,
Because I just got a date with the star of the team!"

To be known in this school you had to have a clout,
And dating this guy would sure help her out.
There was only one problem stopping her fate.
Her parents had said she was too young to date.

"Well, I just won't tell them the entire truth.
They won't know the difference; what's there to lose?"
Jenny asked to stay with her friends that night.
Her parents frowned but said, "All right."

Excited, she got ready for the big event
But as she rushed around like she had no sense,
She began to feel guilty about all the lies,
But what's a pizza, a party, and a moonlight ride?

Well the pizza was good, and the party was great,
But the moonlight ride would have to wait.
For Jeff was half drunk by this time.
But he kissed her and said that he was just fine.

Then the room filled with smoke and Jeff took a puff.
Jenny couldn't believe he was smoking that stuff.
Now Jeff was ready to ride to the point
But only after he'd smoked another joint.

They jumped in the car for the moonlight ride,
Not thinking that he was too drunk to drive.
They finally made it to the point at last,
And Jeff started trying to make a pass.

A pass is not what Jenny wanted at all
(and by a pass, I don't mean playing football).
"Perhaps my parents were right....maybe I am too young.
Boy, how could I ever, ever be so dumb."

With all of her might, she pushed Jeff away:
"Please take me home, I dot want to stay."
Jeff cranked up the engine and floored the gas.
In a matter of seconds they were going too fast.

As Jeff drove on in a fit of wild anger,
Jenny knew that her life was in danger.
She begged and pleaded for him to slow down,
But he just got faster as they neared the town.

"Just let me get home! I'll confess that I lied.
I really went out for a moonlight ride."
Then all of a sudden, she saw a big flash.
"Oh God, Please help us! We're going to crash!"

She doesn't remember the force of impact.
Just that everything all of a sudden went black.
She felt someone remove her from the twisted rubble,
And heard, "Call an ambulance! These kids are in trouble!"

Voices she heard...a few words at best.
But she knew there were two cars involved in the wreck.
Then wondered to herself if Jeff was all right,
And if the people in the other car were alive.

She awoke in the hospital to faces so sad.
"You've been in a wreck and it looks pretty bad."
These voices echoed inside her head,
As they gently told her that Jeff was dead.

They said "Jenny, we've done all we can do.
But it looks as if we'll lose you too."
"But the people in the other car!?" Jenny cried.
"We're sorry, Jenny, they also died."

Jenny prayed, "God, forgive me for what I've done
I only wanted to have just one night of fun."
"Tell those people's family, I've made their lives dim,
And wish I could return their families to them."

"Tell Mom and Dad I'm sorry I lied,
And that it's my fault so many have died.
Oh, nurse, won't you please tell them that for me?"
The nurse just stood there ~ she never agreed.

But took Jenny's hand with tears in her eyes
And a few moments later Jenny died.
A man asked the nurse, "Why didn't you do your best
To bid that girl her one last request?"


She looked at the man with eyes oh so sad.
"Because the people in the other car were her mom and dad."


This story is sad and unpleasant but True,
So young people take heed, it could have been you.


Drinking and driving is NOT cool. Be careful of your habits
and who you're hanging with. Give everything a second thought.

A True Story

It rained so hard tonight. I could feel the wind piercing
through my ribs. A rainy Christmas eve. It just made me feel sadder
and lonelier. It had rained the day he was buried into the ground
and I had cried just like now.

I was attracted to this cheerful guy when I first
started helping out in the 'Home for the Disabled' three years back.
He was a very special guy who was almost perfect if not for his eyes.
He was blind. He became blind when he was 8. He got the high fever then
and the doctors could do nothing. He lost his sight as a result.
He told me he didnt really mind not being able to see because he could always
touch and feel things we normal beings weren't able to. I was really
touched by his optimism. Even though he was blind, his eyes were the
most soulful eyes that I had ever seen. He was extremely helpful
towards others and always did his best to give others what he could.

He showered his love lavishly on everyone he knew. He was like
an angel. He had a kind and unselfish heart. He gave half of what
he earned to charity and he would help out at the 'Home' almost
everyday. Whenever we were free from tending to the people at the
'Home', we would talk to one another for a long time. He talked about God
a lot and how blessed was he to have found joy in the Lord.He didnt blame God
for any misfortunes that had befallen on him. He said the Lord had his
reasons for not giving him sight and he didn't blame God for the fact
that his parent got killed in an accident when he was barely 12.

I felt somewhat ashamed when I heard his words since I
had always blamed God for not giving me a prettier face. I bore a
grudge against God for not giving this wonderful angel His fullest
blessings. I thought that God was unfair to him for taking ,apart from his
sight, his loved ones away from him. I felt that he truly deserved
more. Luke and I were completely different from one another. He was an
optimist and I was a pessimist. He could overlook flaws easily while I would
always pick at others' faults. However we did have one thing in common.
We both had an undying passion for astronomy. He told me he still
remembered how lovely the stars had looked like before he became blind.
And how his dad used to tell him about stars, black holes and space before God
took him away to Heaven. One thing he didnt know was that I was silently
crying for him all the time while he talked. I knew then that I loved
him more than I could ever loved anyone.

Luke and I had been together for almost two years. We
could hardly bear to be away from one another for less than half a
day. We spent most of our time helping out at the 'Home' and 'watching'
the stars at a pasture near it. I would tell him the names and
shapes of the constellations that appeared in the skies and he would
listen carefully with a smile on his face. It seemed like he saw the
stars that I told him, behind those soulful eyes that could never see the
art of God. Maybe God thought that Luke was too good for this
world. He decided to bring him back to His side. Luke contracted
leukemia that fateful 1994. He kept his illness from me and thus I didn't
know anything about it at all.It was only when he started looking sick that I
noticed something was wrong with him. When asked why, he would
pass his paleness off as a slight flu. I didnt believe his words
but I didn't say anything.

It was September 1994.I was waiting at the 'Home' for
Luke. "A call for you, Calista.It's from a hospital," a helper at the
'Home' passed the phone to me worriedly.

"Yes, hello? This is Calista here. Can I be of any help?"
I asked, chewing my lips nervously, sensing bad vibes in my spines.

"This is the Boulevard Hospital. We found your name and
this number in Mr Pietra's wallet. He had fainted on the streets
just now and someone brought him in. I was hoping that you can come
down to the hospital now and help us with the documents."

I hung up the phone and ran all the way in the rain to
the hospital which was a mile away. I signed whatever documents
that were needed and ran to the ward that Luke was in. There he was my
angel, lying almost lifeless on a bed that seemed too large for him.

"Calista, is that you?" He asked when I held his cold hand.

"Yes it's me," I choked on my words.

"Aww..please dont cry. Everything will be alright," he smiled.

I looked at his pale face and it broke my heart.

"Luke," I sobbed." Why is God so unfair to you?" I bawled
out on his chest. He stroked my hair and said softly, "God is fair,
my love. He's gonna take me to a far better place called Heaven.
Don't you agree?"

I didn't answer him as I was lost in my own thoughts.
I really didn't know what was going to happen to me without him in my
life. Moreover, I had this dreary feeling about going to hospitals
ever since I was young. I felt so lost and detached from the world.
Why must God take away my one and only true love?

Three months had passed ever since Luke was admitted
into the hospital. It was December and Christmas was nearing.
My visits to Luke had grew lesser over the three long painful months.
Each time I visited Luke, we would have nothing much to talk about.
There was always this awkward silence between us.I didnt know what caused it
but I guessed it had something to do with the atmosphere in the
hospital. Luke had lost his cheerfulness over the months. He was always
too tired to talk. At times,he would try his best to listen to me while I
talked to him but the pills they fed him always put him to sleep
before I could finish.

We drifted apart somehow although I still loved him a
lot. I had only visited him once during December since I was busy
working and the 'Home' needed helpers desperately.

It was the 24th of December.I realised that I had not
visited Luke for almost three weeks! How funny time seemed to fly when
you were busy. I had prepared a gift for Luke for the past two weeks.
It was a piece of cardboard pasted with 3D star stickers. I called
the constellation that I made up 'LoveLuke'. I hurried to the
hospital with the gift in my hands.

I walked briskly to Luke's ward.On the way there, I
felt a sudden fear in my heart. I didnt know why but somehow, it made
me hurry my pace. To my ultimate fear and worst nightmare, Luke was not
in his ward.

He was gone! I ran to the counter and asked for Luke
but was handed a package and a letter instead. I opened the letter
with my tears flowing down like mad.


My beloved Calista,

Please dont cry when you get this letter. I just want
to let you know that I will be happier at the place where I'll be
going soon. God and my parents are waiting impatiently for me. I'm
looking forward to see them again.

I know how busy you've been these past few weeks and I
really missed you terribly. I know how much U dreaded coming to the
hospital although U never said anything. I felt it. To tell you the
truth, I've thought of ending my life at times to end the pain and
loneliness that my illness had brought me. However, I remembered that life is
bestowed by the love of God and it would be a terrible mistake to kill
myself just to escape misery.

Now, I'm glad God decided to take me away earlier. I dont
want to be a burden to you and I cant thank you enough for all the
love and patience that you had given me through the hard times and the
good times. U love me just the way I am even though I cant even do a
small thing like watch a movie with you. Please dont blame God for
taking me away. He does it because He loves me, just as much as He loves you.

Dont ask why all the time. Things are planned and they
are meant to be this way. Dont keep thinking that God is unfair and
stop bearing grudges against him. God is a fair God. Everything that
you lost today will be compensated in another way tomorrow. Just keep on
believing.

Remember that I'll always love you even when Im not by
your side. U're the most beautiful person that I've ever 'seen'
in my life, even though u r always complaining about the way you look.
Beauty comes from within.

Just to tell u that u will always be a part of me that
I can't live without. Thank you once again for your sweetness and your
wonderful unselfish love.

P.S. I'm sorry that I cant celebrate Christmas with you.
Here's a gift I've prepared for you ever since the start of December.

Love,
Luke. E. Pietra.


I tore open the package, sobbing all the while. Inside
it was a picture made up of tiny stickers of stars. On top of the black
paper was written 'LoveCalista'. He too had made up a constellation
for me. I knew how much effort and time he must have put in in making the
gift since he wasn't able to see. I cried my whole heart out that
night at the hospital.

It was Christmas Day, 25th of December,1994. Luke was
laid into the ground. The rain was coming down hard. Nothing could describe
my sadness. I was filled with remorse. In my busyness, I had neglected
Luke. I should have spent more time with him. I didnt even get to see
him for one last time before he died. I didnt really treasure him until
he was gone. I missed him so much now. I wanted so much to hug him and
to tell him how much I loved him. But it was all too late. I had let time
slip by and it would never come back to me. I had lost Luke forever.
Forever, that word suddenly sounded so strange to me as I watched Luke's
coffin being lowered into the ground. I cried for the man who taught me the
ways of life. The one person who changed my views towards many
things. The angel who taught me to overlook others' flaws and to see the beauty
behind imperfections.The one who told me to accept whatever cards that
were dealt to me. Now this one person had left my side forever. Gone
like the two pieces of pictures that carried the words 'LoveLuke' and
'LoveCalista'. They were buried together with the memory of Luke.

Treasure what you have now before it becomes a regret,
when it becomes too late. Time always slips us by when we least
realize it.Let the people you love know what they mean to you,
because you never know what might happen......life is too fragile.

Start reaching out to people. Friends have feelings and
are human too. Cherish and treasure your friends no matter how
irritating or annoying they may be at time. A group of close laughing,
talking and sharing friends are a chest of treasures which will remain
through eternity.

A TRUE Love Story You Must Read !


To my dearest friends:

My name is Allen. Today is a sad day in my life. Some of you may know me personally and some only on AOL and some may have never even spoken to me.

What only some of you may know is that I had a girlfriend that was killed.

I am sending this out to tell you all a simple and true message. I never was big on girls, being a simple country boy from Tennessee. I never thought I stood a chance with a nice girl like all guys dream about.

I dated girls here and there but nothing major. Then my senior year of highschool, I saw her. Her name was Alena Mazzoni. She was a model and to beat it all she was Italian. The first day she was there she walked up and looked at me in lunch and said, "Excuse me Mr Allen, could I sit with the senior class president?"

I looked at her and said, "Well that's me, sit if you would like."

From that day on we were never apart. I was one of the popular people but not one of the sports jocks and I still don't know why. I was studying to be a photographer when she took me on a model shoot with her and a runway show.

I was just amazed at her. We had then decided I would be her photographer. She even got me into modeling. We were together about everyday then on November 8, 1994 it happened. She called and woke me up at 6 am like she always did and said I'll see you at school. I had known her for only 4 months. I got to school and she never showed up.

At 10 am as I was walking to the office to call her, the principal came over the inter-com and gave this heart-breaking message.

"Students and Faculty: It is my sad duty to tell you that Alena Mazzoni was killed in a head on collision this morning on the way to school."

I dropped to my knees there in the hall and cried. I left school. I came home and only
to find my mom and dad waiting on me. My mom was crying because she knew how
I felt for her. I found out that my dad saw the whole accident and was the first on the scene. A girl crossed 3 lanes of traffic and hit Alena head on.

Alena's Geo Tracker rolled over down an enbankment and rested on it's tires again. My dad found her with the engine in her lap. She was flown to the University of Tennessee hospital where she was pronounced dead on arrival. The other girl that hit her was stoned and drunk. I felt it was my fault because I talked her into staying at G-P highschool in Gatlinburg. She lived in Sevierville next to the Sevier Co high and she wanted to move back. I begged for her to stay. If I didn't, she would still be here today.

So what's the message behind this you ask? I never told Alena I loved her nor did she me. We were so happy it was like we already knew. When I went to the funeral home her mom met me at the door and asked if I would be a paul bearer for her and if I would sing Amazing Grace for her. I said I would. The funeral home was closing the doors and her mom said she had to go but handed me a piece of paper that had a spot of blood on it. Everyone left but since I knew the funeral director I asked if I could stay. The note her mom handed me said this:

My dearest Allen! I am just sitting here in my room thinking of you and I wanted to
write. You have no idea how happy I am with you. We have been together for 4 months now and I couldn't dream being with anyone else. There is something I want to tell you I think it is time for me to say:

Allen, I love you!

Well I am looking forward to seeing you tomorrow.

Love Forever,
Alena


She wrote the note the night before she died. We never had told each other we love the other. I cried so hard. I put the note next to her and the only picture of the both of us together in there and a white rose.

I sang at her funeral the next day and I helped carry her to her final resting place in Pigeon Forge, TN I thought my life ended at that moment when they lowered her down. Today is her 20th Birthday!

Still to this day I think of her and I never wanted to talk about it. It feels better now that I got it out.

The point of this is: IF THERE IS SOMEONE YOU LOVE, TELL THEM. NO MATTER WHO THEY ARE.

If it is a guy or girl you love, tell them. Tomorrow may be WAY too late.

I must move on now with my life but I will always remember the times we shared. When I wake up in the morning and walk outside:

She smiles at me. I just know it. She would want me to go on.

Please forward this to ALL your friends and help me share this
simple and true message with everyone.

Allen

What Love Is...